"I'm Not Salty" Illustrated Cheeky Salt Shaker Unisex T-Shirt - Floofles by Brandon Ellis

This is not a shirt for people who let things go.

This is for the grudge-holders, the overthinkers, the champions of casual shade - all wrapped in one soft, comfy, straight-faced lie of a T-shirt.

Featuring Brandon Ellis’s gloriously passive-aggressive salt shaker and the boldly printed “I’m Not Salty” caption, this tee is made for those who claim they’re over it… but definitely aren’t.

Whether you’re chilling at home, side-eyeing your way through errands, or simply letting the world know you’re totally fine, this shirt delivers the perfect blend of sarcasm, style, and suppressed shade.

Why You’ll Love It:

🖊️ Original Artwork by Brandon Ellis: Designed 100% by hand - no AI here. Every illustration is created under our Authocracy™ brand commitment to real, human-made art. 

🖤 Garment-Dyed Fabric: Ultra-soft with a vintage feel that only gets better with time (unlike that thing you're definitely not annoyed about).

🌱 100% Ethically Sourced US Cotton: Breathable and comfortable, even if your attitude’s a bit spicy.

🪡 Double-Needle Stitching: Built to last through drama, dilemmas, and daily wear.

👕 No Side Seams: Smooth lines for a clean, effortless fit.

📏 Unisex Sizes S–3XL: A relaxed look that works whether you’re chill or pretending to be.

🌈 Available in 6 Colors: From low-key neutrals to full “don’t test me” mode.

Wear it to brunch. Wear it to therapy. Wear it while pretending you’re totally fine.
It’s not just a shirt - it’s an alibi.